Letters For My Sons

Month: January 2020

Abundance Beyond Catastrophe

Our world is awash with cries of catastrophe.

The fires are burning.

The climate is changing.

Society is crumbling.

Fingers are pointing.

People are fighting.

Emotions are ragged.

Terrorism, socialism, communism, capitalism, racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, phobiaphobia…

The government, the politicians, the greens, the liberals, the nazis, the bogans, the white trash, the muslims, the rich, the middle class, the welfare class, women’s rights, men’s rights, the vaccinations, the pesticides, the suicides, nobody doing enough, everybody taking too much…

So many things to be fearful of, to run from or take a stand against, to wage war on, to hate others about, to feel disconnected with.

But,

I see something else. Behind the fear, behind the hate, behind the social media and television fog, behind all the things we are told to emote about… I see a world of abundance.

This time will be looked upon not only as the gateway to a different world, but as an incredible Neo-Renaissance of thinkers, artists, technologists and inventors.  And those people are you and me.

I see our incredible world, with technology doing so much for so many.

I see fascinating art, its architecture, paintings, drawings and sculpture, song, poetry and prose, from every culture and people on earth, enough to view and hear and feel something amazing every day for the rest of my life.

I see the amazing generosity of millions of people, those people who post on blogs, who give away their energy, time and ideas so that you can find answers.  And those people who volunteer so people can eat, sleep, talk and be, without fear.  And those people who raise their children as best they can, creating peers for your children and mine.

I see communities of like minded people everywhere, whether they are on their phones or face to face.

I see people realising the need for true connection as religion and churches everywhere die of starvation.

I see people opening their own hearts slowly but surely and seeing the light of  a beautiful, personal spirituality within.

I see more businesses and companies looking to make the world better.

I see philanthropists of all fiscal footings giving and giving and giving.

I see men talking and feeling.

I see women achieving and succeeding.

I see children, incredible children, everywhere I look.  Children who perform, who create, who question, who speak and laugh and sing out.  Children full of joy and sadness and anger and euphoria and all the rest of those gigantic and amazing Feels.  Children who love each other, love their families and are loved themselves.

We worry for what we have given our children.  

I say, necessity is the mother of invention.  

Instead of another generation of middle-class couch sitters and wine-sippers, we have inadvertently helped create a world of challenge.  The most exciting thing to happen to anyone in the last eighty years.  The ultimate challenge: do or die.  

I’ve seen the children, I know what they are capable of.  This coming generation will crush the problems of this coming world, I know it.  They are far smarter, more intelligent and wiser than we were at their age. They are aware.  They have strength.  They have power.

We will work with them until we pass, and they, 

they will be ready.

If You Wanna Be My Friend

If you want to hang with me, if we are going to be friends, you’ll behave within certain parameters. Not like “you gotta do this”, but because you are like this. 

Its totally cool if you don’t behave in this way, but we are not going to hang out.  We are unlikely to be friends.  And that’s ok.  If you have respectable ideas, I will respect them.  If you voice your opinion, I will listen to it. But you will not be a part of my circle nor any of the advantages and disadvantages that come with that.

I used to be flexible.  That guy who continuously adjusts their behaviour until connection is found with the other person.   The one who flexes their boundaries ever so slightly so that others can be a little more comfortable.

I now have little need for flexibility in establishing connection.  If I’ve had to make more than a couple of flexibility adjustments to my character to connect with you, I probably won’t be talking to you again, not in any real, deep sense.  And, I’ll be making a quick exit. 

Flexibility is exhausting, and certainly inauthentic.  However some people armour themselves, and it can take them a little time to find that dialogue with me is a safe space.  They’ll armour with humour, or accent, or trivialities.  I’ll take a little time to see if there is something worth pursuing in the other person, to find a connection that is rewarding.  A connection that has you walking away with a feeling of joy, humour, warmth or lightness, and a desperate need to talk with them again.

These people I want to connect with again are usually recognised within the first 2 to 3 minutes of conversation.  They are the ones that dive deep straight away.  They are talking of their likes and dislikes, talking of their fears and loves, talking from the heart.  They are not parroting shit from TV.  They are not repeating the tripe of the social media day.  They are not outraged about anything. 

They are explorative. 

They are learning. 

They are unsatisfied with how little they know. 

They are feeling.

They want answers.

They are blackly humourous, you know?

They are probing.

They ask questions. 

They deftly reinsert conversational threads that we had barely unravelled ten minutes ago before being distracted by another fascinating turnabout. 

They disagree, healthily. 

They criticise, constructively. 

They bear the same from me with grace and good humour, without a trace of defensiveness. 

These people understand that it is ideas that are to be argued, discussed and disembowelled, not people.  They know that the idea and their Self are utterly seperate, thus an idea can be hung, drawn and quartered without the Self suffering in the least.  They are grateful for torture that teaches.  I know I am.

I want dialogue.  I want interaction. I seek connection above all else. 

And what a beautiful thing it is to connect with another fascinating human.

The Australian Fires and the Fresh Start

We’ve been burning here for months now.

The Blue Mountains, from the north of the Wollemi National Park to the deep south of Kanangra, has slowly but surely transformed from a stunning vista of eucalypt forests into a black moonscape, bereft of identifying features.

The fire has destroyed homes and threatened villages with new dangers appearing almost every week, fuelled by hot conditions, dry landscapes and wind.

The anxiety comes and goes, wondering whether this will be the week it’s our turn to lose our house, our belongings, our lives.

What surprises me is how many people secretly wish since the beginning of this fire season, to lose everything they own and start again.  How many have longed for a fresh slate?  I have talked with many people and been surprised at the sentiment of “the fire can take it all… I’m insured”.

It seems we don’t really want our stuff, but we don’t want to get rid of it ourselves.  We want an external force to remove it from our lives.  We want to be free of the weight of our belongings, those “things” that tie us to earth, to our past, to our background, to our fears of loss and our anxieties of the future.

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